My Reasons

Today I am finding myself so blessed. Being a mother is the greatest gift my God has given me. Looking back I can remember thinking I would never have children and now I see that Gods plan was quite obviously better than my own. My sweet children have given me so much joy and love. They have taught me what true unconditional love means. I think before I understood what it meant to feel love for my family, friends and even myself but when I held Merek in my arms for the very first time and looked into her sweet steel blue eyes I finally realized what love was. And then when Dexter was born and at the sound of my voice he stopped crying and stared up at me my heart grew to double its previous size. 

Without those precious children my life would be so different. Not just physically different but literally I would be less of a person. I would obviously get more sleep, worry less, and have more time for me. But without my children I literally wouldn't have a purpose or direction. 

When I first discovered I was pregnant with Merek my world turned upside down and until she was almost six months old it stayed that way. But when I was free to see her beauty and her sincere love I realized that God really does give SO much good out of something we perceive as bad. She was my good. She was and still is my reason for getting out of bed every morning. And now that I have Dexter those feelings are ten fold. I want nothing more than to raise them to the best of my God given abilities. To watch them grow and learn and love. I thank my sweet and wonderful Lord everyday for the two beautiful gifts he gave me, and for the amazing husband He allows me to raise them with. Ryan is my rock and the best friend I have ever had!

I look back a few years and I am amazed at how much changed and how much I grew in such a short time. I would not have it any other way because in a few minutes a beautiful little girl with a heart the size of Texas will come walking down the hall asking for a snack and a sweet baby boy will wake up from his nap and want me to hold him. How on earth could it get any better than that!!!